RECIPROCITY

After writing my post yesterday I found myself thinking about blogging all night and all afternoon. I couldn't wait to start another blog today. However, I kept feeling like I really needed to let my day off play out and my day really wind down before I put pen to paper, well in this case fingers to keys to screen. Ha! Damn technology at it's finest.

Lets get started with the real issues at hand. We all know I have a love hate relationship with technology. I love love love love love it because we have all these great things like blogs, twitter, facebook, texting, calling and facetime. But, Man oh man do I hate it sometimes when people are not on top of it like I am. I really feel like I am attached to my Iphone. Without it, well I would be fine if I was in the presence of those I wanted to be in front of. But when I am by myself or at work or doing whatever by myself, its a drag not to have my phone.

So this brings up what has really been going on in this girls life. RECIPROCITY. Reciprocity is basically the mutual exchange of interactions. Reciprocating on a mutual basis. We were all taught this at a young age. Come on people, this isn't something new, and it certainly isn't Rocket Science. I call you, you call me. I text you, you text me back. This has been my biggest struggle lately, and it is not understanding that people may have bigger things going on outside of me. Because lets be real, I'm not a busy girl. I work a lot, yea... But, I can always have my phone and I can always respond.

Therefore, I feel like this has really put a damper on A LOT of my relationships lately. It's something I am trying to work on, and get through in my own head. It will take some time, and is definitely something I can see myself getting through pretty quickly. Acceptance. That's where I am at right now. I have accepted that I have this problem now I have to work through it. I feel like I'm talking in circles right now but I think you can follow.

But is the real problem me not understanding that people are to busy for me? Or is it the fact that yea, they may be super busy, and too busy for me at times, but are not communicating through this busy time. We all wake up with our phones by our side, and we all go to sleep with it right next to us. This is where my struggle is coming from. I mean it is literally driving me crazy. I expect people to think the same way as my little brain thinks. And how does my little brain think you may ask... well, when i wake up if I think of you, I text you. When I go to sleep if I think of you, I definitely want to tell you goodnight. And this is where my new problem starts. I have become bitter about this communicating system we have called text messaging. So I try not to text good morning or good night to people I'm really wanting to because I'm trying to wire my brain like theirs. Is this fair to me? or them? No, it certainly is not. I am acting out of character to try and give them a dose of their own medicine. ANOTHER problem of mine. It comes back to bite me in the ASS because they don't seem to care.

This is something I must work on... But for now I think I've overwhelmed myself with this post and will have to come back to this issue at a later date.

Until next time,

-C